Archive for the ‘Adultitis’ Category

Happy Father’s Day, God

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

VOUTSINAS FAMILY PHOTO

Have you heard the story about the married couple photographed together at Disney World 15 years before they met? (I found out about it from a link Chris Brogan shared via Twitter.)

The couple didn’t know each other, and they didn’t even live in the same country at the time the photograph was taken:

That fateful realization came just one week before their wedding eight years ago. Alex and Donna had been going through old family snapshots. There, in the blurry background of a picture of 5-year-old Donna was 3-year-old Alex being pushed down Main Street at the same moment in 1980 by his father. The senior Voutsinas’s distinctive jet-black hair with its white tuft caught his eye.

“My mother pulled out albums from the same trip. My dad is wearing exactly the same outfit.”

Other pictures from that trip showed Alex on his dad’s shoulders. The boy in the background of Donna’s picture and the boy in those pictures were the same.

Weird, huh?

I can’t even begin to imagine the odds of such a thing happening. A bajillion-to-one would be my highly uneducated guess. But although many people probably chalk it up to a remarkable coincidence, I have another theory.

I believe it’s an example of God having fun.

He often gets a bad rap. Popular thinking often paints him as curmudgeoney old guy with a long white beard sitting up on a cloud somewhere, spending his days smoting people from a distance. He sits on a thrown like a Roman emperor, judging the fate of people with a simple but emphatic thumbs up or thumbs down. If he lived in America, there’s a pretty good chance that he’d run the IRS. He’s often painted as a pretty serious dude with a serious case of Adultitis.

It’s too bad, really, because I believe there’s another side that people don’t often think about.

His goofy side.

If God really was as serious as some people imagine him to be, we’d never have the duck-billed platypus, giraffes, or Elton John.

I subscribe to the idea that coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous. SQuire Rushnell has written a series of bestselling books along the same lines. He calls such coincidences godwinks. Rushnell says:

What do godwinks mean? Think about when you were a kid and someone you loved gave you a little wink across the dining room table…Mom or Dad or Grandma. You didn’t say “What do you mean by that?” You knew. It meant: “Hey kid, I’m thinking about you right now.” That’s what a godwink is too: a message of reassurance from above, directly to you, out of six billion people on the planet, saying “Hey kid…I’m thinking of you! Keep the faith! You’re never alone.”

I’ve experienced some notable godwinks in my own life, and in my experience, if you’re open to them, you’ll likely notice even more.

The couple in the picture above being photographed together is really an inconsequential event. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal. Nothing about the lives of the couple in question would’ve been different had the photo been snapped a few seconds earlier or later. But I can only imagine God smiling to himself when the photo was taken, because he knew. I can only imagine his anticipation when the couple was sorting through the photos on that fateful day of discovery. And I can only imagine the chills that ran down the spines of Alex and Donna once the connection was made.

Call it random if you want, but I like to think of it as an example of God having fun.

Now while there is much debate over God’s gender, I have come to believe that God is God and not really a man or a woman, but posesses a combination of what we think of as motherly and fatherly traits. In thinking of him as a father, he may be a bit stern, serious, and demanding at times. But if I could send a Twitter message to God for Father’s Day, I’d say this:

“We’re not always the best kids. Thx for sticking with us and sharing your creative & fun side in the form of coincidences. And platypuses.”

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

Life will be easier when…

Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

Ever find yourself saying, “Life will be easier when…”?

If you’re a parent, you can fill in the blank mighty easily. Life will be easier when…

…he can sleep through the night.

…she can feed herself.

…he can tell us where it hurts.

…she goes to school.

…he makes it to the NBA and buys me a ginormous house in Hawaii.

This is a diabolical game that Adultitis likes us to play, because it gets us wishing away time, distracts us from the present, and keeps us focused on the negative.

Of course, this pastime is not exclusive to parenthood. We can do it our whole life if we’re not careful. As in, “Life will be easier when I graduate, when I get that promotion, when I move to that new apartment, when the kids move out, when I finally retire…” and on and on. Then one day you wake up, wondering where the time went and yearn for the “good old days.”

Notice how nobody ever acknowledges the good old days when they’re living in them?

No doubt about it, certain aspects of life DO get easier as we move from stage to stage. What’s easy to forget is that a whole new crop of challenges and problems come with it. The reality is this: no matter what stage of parenting — or life, for that matter — you find yourself in, there are pleasant things and not so pleasant things about it. No exceptions.

The only people without challenges are taking up residence in the extended stay resorts called cemeteries.

My Dad told me that he and Mom used to look forward to the day when us kids were out on our own. “I assumed that we wouldn’t have to worry so much about you guys,” he said. “But then you all got married, and our family — and people to worry about — doubled. Now we have grandkids to worry about, too!”

Even though my brothers and I are self-sufficient and successful, we’ve all encountered various storms that come with life. Things that make diaper changing and carpooling seem like a walk in the park. Or as my Mom puts it: “When you have little people you have little problems. Big people have bigger problems.”

You know the answer. Instead of focusing on the negatives and waiting for things to get easier, the trick is to focus on the positive and appreciate the good things about your current situation. The stuff you’ll miss. There’s always something.

For instance, it IS easier now that my daughter can entertain herself for more than 7 seconds, but I already miss sleeping on the couch holding my little bundle of joy. She’s much too independent (and wiggly) for that now. Likewise, before buying a home last year, there weren’t a lot of things I liked about my old apartment. But living in Wisconsin, I always made a point to appreciate that I didn’t have to shovel snow.

If you find Adultitis urging you to pine for a time when things will get easier, use it as an opportunity to instead focus on something good about your current season of life.

Give yourself permission to relish the fact that you’re living in the good old days.

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

Related posts:

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Life’s Little Traffic Jams

Friday, February 12th, 2010

We bought our daughter one of those little primary-colored push car toys for her first birthday. It gets great gas mileage and holds up amazingly well in crashes, of which there have been many so far.

The other day, she got herself caught in a traffic jam. The legs of our counter-height kitchen table and its accompanying chairs gridlocked her into a standstill. With all the might a one-year-old can muster, she pushed and prodded that car in an attempt to break free to the open road.

To no avail.

My initial instinct was to jump to her rescue and free her from her dilemma. But I could tell she was close to doing it on her own, so I decided to stay put. Her frustration level mounted, but I kept my distance. It was hard. Finally, with one last exasperated twist, the car untangled from the last chair leg and she was free.

And let me tell you, the beaming glow of pride on her face melted my heart like a Snickers bar in Scottsdale.

This foray into Fatherhood has taught me a lot of new stuff about God. This particular scenario gave me some insight about how he operates.

We all have rough patches in our lives, moments when we get stuck in the weeds. Things aren’t going according to plan and we’re stuck. Adultitis gets the better of us. We work our butts off to make the situation better, but nothing seems to help. After exhausting all of our resources, our frustrations mount. Perhaps we cry out to God to save us. He certainly can, and sometimes he does. A check shows up in the mail. The idea to solve a perplexing problem presents itself, seemingly out of thin air. We find the thing we had given up hope of ever finding.

But sometimes he doesn’t step in to save the day. Sometimes he’s silent.

Even though I often wish he would step in and make things easier for me, I’ve come to see that he has the wisdom to know that sometimes we have to go through difficult situations in life in order to come out stronger, better, and more confident on the other side.

And I believe that nothing makes him smile wider than seeing us accomplish exactly what he knew we could do all along.

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

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Believe It Or Not: A Review of Ripley’s Latest Book

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

blue_baseball

I was recently given a review copy of Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Seeing Is Believing.

The problem is, I’ve never done an official review of anything before.

I guess the first thing to determine is my unit of measurement. That seems to be the thing that really brands you and makes you popular, ensuring that more people will send you free stuff. I’m pretty sure Siskel & Ebert came up with the thumbs up/thumbs down thing. Rotten Tomatoes uses, um, tomatoes. And I don’t know who came up with the star system (I give this 4 out of five stars!), but I’m sure he must be making a lot of bank these days.

While thumbs, tomatoes and stars are all very good units of measurement, since I specialize in things that are childlike, I’ve decided go with marbles. They’re timeless, and everybody knows that marbles are cool and more is better. My top rating will be five marbles. Not four, because that seems too limiting, but not ten because that seems too nuanced and I sometimes have a hard time making decisions.

Now that I’ve got that cleared up, I’ve got to figure out what exactly am I basing this review on. That’s a big factor, after all. Some of the most entertaining movies of all time (I’m looking at you, Dumb & Dumber), would never be given a shred of critical acclaim or Oscar buzz (mainly because the Academy is stifled by Adultitis).

Again, I feel my area of focus requires me to overlook technical merits, production values, and the sorts of things that would make Strunk & White giddy. Quite simply, you get five marbles if your book/movie/product does an exemplary job of decreasing Adultitis and inviting the inner child out to play.

Finally, on to the review. (This is a lot of work!)

ripleys_bookHere’s what I can tell you about Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Seeing Is Believing:

There are pictures. Lots of them. (And in color, too!) For instance, there’s a picture of a dude with a watermelon being blown off the top of his head by his rifle-weilding brother. Pretty cool, huh? Then there’s the three-year-old that weighs 142 pounds, a pesron with eight toes on one foot, and a guy with a thumbnail almost five feet long. And I mustn’t neglect to mention the picture that shows New Zealand shepherds competing in a race in which they must bite into bulls testicles and carry them with their mouths for 65 feet.

Perhaps you’ve been wondering about that blue ball in the photo above. Is it a giant jawbreaker? An asteroid from another planet? A kidney stone from the world’s largest Smurf? Nope. It’s a baseball. Covered with 17,000 coats of paint. Here’s the story from Ripley’s web site which features book extras:

Every day since 1977, house painter Mike Carmichael of Alexandria, Indiana, has applied at least one coat of paint to a regulation baseball. More than 17,000 coats of paint later, the initial 9-in (22cm) circumference has ballooned to more than 104 in (264 cm), and the weight of the ball has increased to 1,100 lb (500 kg) making it the world’s largest ball of paint. Mike lets a guest of honor paint every hundredth coat, and has kept detailed records of the many colors of the ball’s layers. The ball has now grown so big that he has had to build a special room in his house just to store it.

Aside from all the photos, the book is jammed with tons of unbelievable crazy factoids:

• In 2006, 104-year-old Wook Kundor of Kuala Berang, Malaysia, married her 21st husband–a man 71 years younger than herself.

• The body of a 32-year-old man from Mindoro Island in the Philippines was recovered inside a 23-ft python in 1988.

• Dave Nunley from Cambridgeshire, England, has eaten nothing but grated mild Cheddar cheese for over 25 years and goes through 238 lbs of it every year.

This book reminds me of an old copy Guinness Book of World Records I used to own as a boy. I remember marveling at the grainy black-and-white photos of the dude with the world’s longest beard and the fat twins riding motorcycles. This book is like that one, but on steroids. I’m not sure it would make a good coffee table book, but it’s definitely a swell bathroom read.

It’s also a fun one to share with your kids, especially boys who are currently captivated by all things gross. It does a good job arousing curiosity and challenging our assumptions of what’s possible. One caveat: due to the extreme nature of some of the contents, you may want to steer clear the little ones.

Unless you want to get into a discussion about bull testicles with your three-year-old.

All in all, I know my inner child was delighted. In reading the book I was simultaneously amazed, shocked, disgusted, and utterly horrified.

Sounds like a five-marble book to me.
5-marbles

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

Related posts:

  1. Book review: Eat, Shrink & Be Merry! The first thing I realized when I took at look...
  2. I’m Your Bus Review and Back To School Giveaway To say my daughter is a reader is an understatement. ...
  3. The gift of a Book As advertisers climb over one another to suggest Father’s Day...

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Believe It Or Not: A Review of Ripley’s Latest Book

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

blue_baseball

I was recently given a review copy of Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Seeing Is Believing.

The problem is, I’ve never done an official review of anything before.

I guess the first thing to determine is my unit of measurement. That seems to be the thing that really brands you and makes you popular, ensuring that more people will send you free stuff. I’m pretty sure Siskel & Ebert came up with the thumbs up/thumbs down thing. Rotten Tomatoes uses, um, tomatoes. And I don’t know who came up with the star system (I give this 4 out of five stars!), but I’m sure he must be making a lot of bank these days.

While thumbs, tomatoes and stars are all very good units of measurement, since I specialize in things that are childlike, I’ve decided go with marbles. They’re timeless, and everybody knows that marbles are cool and more is better. My top rating will be five marbles. Not four, because that seems too limiting, but not ten because that seems too nuanced and I sometimes have a hard time making decisions.

Now that I’ve got that cleared up, I’ve got to figure out what exactly am I basing this review on. That’s a big factor, after all. Some of the most entertaining movies of all time (I’m looking at you, Dumb & Dumber), would never be given a shred of critical acclaim or Oscar buzz (mainly because the Academy is stifled by Adultitis).

Again, I feel my area of focus requires me to overlook technical merits, production values, and the sorts of things that would make Strunk & White giddy. Quite simply, you get five marbles if your book/movie/product does an exemplary job of decreasing Adultitis and inviting the inner child out to play.

Finally, on to the review. (This is a lot of work!)

ripleys_bookHere’s what I can tell you about Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Seeing Is Believing:

There are pictures. Lots of them. (And in color, too!) For instance, there’s a picture of a dude with a watermelon being blown off the top of his head by his rifle-weilding brother. Pretty cool, huh? Then there’s the three-year-old that weighs 142 pounds, a pesron with eight toes on one foot, and a guy with a thumbnail almost five feet long. And I mustn’t neglect to mention the picture that shows New Zealand shepherds competing in a race in which they must bite into bulls testicles and carry them with their mouths for 65 feet.

Perhaps you’ve been wondering about that blue ball in the photo above. Is it a giant jawbreaker? An asteroid from another planet? A kidney stone from the world’s largest Smurf? Nope. It’s a baseball. Covered with 17,000 coats of paint. Here’s the story from Ripley’s web site which features book extras:

Every day since 1977, house painter Mike Carmichael of Alexandria, Indiana, has applied at least one coat of paint to a regulation baseball. More than 17,000 coats of paint later, the initial 9-in (22cm) circumference has ballooned to more than 104 in (264 cm), and the weight of the ball has increased to 1,100 lb (500 kg) making it the world’s largest ball of paint. Mike lets a guest of honor paint every hundredth coat, and has kept detailed records of the many colors of the ball’s layers. The ball has now grown so big that he has had to build a special room in his house just to store it.

Aside from all the photos, the book is jammed with tons of unbelievable crazy factoids:

• In 2006, 104-year-old Wook Kundor of Kuala Berang, Malaysia, married her 21st husband–a man 71 years younger than herself.

• The body of a 32-year-old man from Mindoro Island in the Philippines was recovered inside a 23-ft python in 1988.

• Dave Nunley from Cambridgeshire, England, has eaten nothing but grated mild Cheddar cheese for over 25 years and goes through 238 lbs of it every year.

This book reminds me of an old copy Guinness Book of World Records I used to own as a boy. I remember marveling at the grainy black-and-white photos of the dude with the world’s longest beard and the fat twins riding motorcycles. This book is like that one, but on steroids. I’m not sure it would make a good coffee table book, but it’s definitely a swell bathroom read.

It’s also a fun one to share with your kids, especially boys who are currently captivated by all things gross. It does a good job arousing curiosity and challenging our assumptions of what’s possible. One caveat: due to the extreme nature of some of the contents, you may want to steer clear the little ones.

Unless you want to get into a discussion about bull testicles with your three-year-old.

All in all, I know my inner child was delighted. In reading the book I was simultaneously amazed, shocked, disgusted, and utterly horrified.

Sounds like a five-marble book to me.
5-marbles

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

Related posts:

  1. Book review: Eat, Shrink & Be Merry! The first thing I realized when I took at look...
  2. I’m Your Bus Review and Back To School Giveaway To say my daughter is a reader is an understatement. ...
  3. The gift of a Book As advertisers climb over one another to suggest Father’s Day...

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A First-Year Father’s 13 Things to Be Thankful For (Podcast)

Friday, November 20th, 2009


In a few weeks, my daughter Lucy will celebrate her first birthday. Last Thanksgiving, we had to skip the traditional two-hour drive home because my wife looked like she was hiding the Great Pumpkin under her shirt. At the risk of sounding like every other dad who’s ever lived, I can’t believe how fast the time has gone. (Even though the first few weeks did seem like an eternity.)

112304_thanksgivingWith another Thanksgiving just around the corner, and my first year of fatherhood coming to a close, I sure do have a lot to be thankful for, including sleep, football, and cheese. Here’s the full list:

1 ) Sleep.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been a big fan of sleep. It’s just that I’m much more grateful for it now. Every hour of sleep is pure gold and Sunday afternoon family naps are better than a juicy steak. Never more true than in the first year of parenthood is the old adage that says, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

2 ) The guy who invented disposable diapers.
You, my friend, are a saint. Now, my hat is off to all of the brave, patient souls who go the route of cloth diapers. I salute you, particularly because you appear to be some brand of superhuman. Although our choice to go disposable may not be as environmentally friendly, I take solace in the idea that I’m doing my part to jumpstart the economy.

3 ) Football.
Oh, football, you bastion of manliness serving as a needed escape from the jungle of fatherhood. For a few hours, you let me revel in grown men smacking the crap out of each other as I watch from the comfort of my couch in my fleece pants. Who knew that Jay Cutler’s 17 interceptions (so far!) could serve such a noble purpose?

4 ) Moms.
First, let me state the obvious. If guys had to go through the whole childbirth thing, there’d be a lot less people on Earth. Like maybe none. Plus, moms are so good at remembering those little things that we dads often forget, like the fact that it might be a good idea to put a coat on your baby when it’s cold outside.

5 ) Colors not named pink.
I grew up in a home with two brothers. The only females were my mom and our dog. There wasn’t a whole lot of pink going on. But now, in just one year’s time, I have already achieved a lifetime’s worth of exposure to the color pink. Apparently that is the only color you’re allowed to dress little girls in. I have a new found appreciation for the colors blue, orange, green, and yes, even brown.

6 ) Hand-me-downs.
Not being the first couple on either side of the family to have kids has its advantages. One of them is all the clothes we’ve gotten from siblings who are done having children. They appreciate the fact that they can now see a corner of their basement, and I am happy that we haven’t had to spend one penny on clothes. (Except for the little Cubs dress I bought Lucy over the summer. It was adorable, baseball related, and most importantly, not pink.) This wallet-saving benefit makes up for the millions of diapers we’ve purchased so far.

7 ) The internet.
Where else can you access such a river of information about the little things that pop up during baby’s first year but via our friend, the Interwebs. Even though some research leads you to believe that your baby might have some combination of scurvy and lupis, there’s enough information out there that allows you to eventually find what you want to hear: this is normal and everything is fine.

8 ) People who considered buying my daughter annoying electronic toys but didn’t.
Thank you. I love you. If you need a kidney, call me. You are right up there with Mother Teresa in the compassion department. Any baby toy that plays music is from the devil. I hate them. I find the fact that they don’t mention ear bleeding as a common side effect on the packaging a gross disdain for truth in advertising. Some of you may think I’m exaggerating about the whole devil thing, but those of you who’ve heard one of these toys go off when the battery is dying knows quite well the unmistakable sounds of demon babble.

9 ) The fact that she’s still in one piece.
I used to think of my home as a peaceful, safe haven. Who knew that my house was one big war zone with all kinds of booby traps designed to inflict harm upon my little one? Pinched fingers, bumped heads, and a bloody lip are just some of the battle scars Lucy has picked up while living in the death trap that is our home. The fact that she’s still alive is something to be grateful for, especially since I am quite certain I had nothing to do with it.

10 ) The cuteness of babies.
Not only do they suddenly make all of your photos look ten times better, but babies and their inherent cuteness is actually a well-designed survival mechanism created by God. Were it not for Lucy’s heart-melting toothy grin and scrunched-up nose when she smiles, I am quite certain I would have shipped her to Siberia with no return address by now. And that could potentially put a damper on my chances of being named Father of the Year.

11 ) The Madison Birth Center.
Our midwives and the people on staff at the Center helped make our first experience with pregnancy and childbirth one the most peace-filled, personal, educational, and exciting chapters of our life. Kim and I still look back to the evening Lucy was born as one of the most calm, magical, and spiritual experiences we’ve ever had. And they helped give us the confidence that we could competently make the transition from a family of two to a family of three (which is a bigger leap than it sounds.)

12 ) Cheese.
I’m not sure Lucy is what would be considered a picky eater. She eats a wide variety of foods, although we’re never quite sure what will suit her fancy on any particular day. She’ll gobble down peaches for breakfast and act like they’re pure cyanide for lunch. But one thing she will always eat is cheese. A small pile of shredded cheddar is gone quicker than Usain Bolt on Jolt. This may or may not have something to do with her being born in Wisconsin.

13 ) The Costco-sized bulk package of joy.
Until you actually have a kid, you don’t quite know what to expect. When it comes to Adultitis, the debate rages on: are kids the cause or the cure? But what makes the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, and the always “on” state of alertness worthwhile is the insane amount of joy that has been added to my life. Lucy makes me smile, laugh, and very, very happy. Being a Dad is the coolest thing ever, and for the opportunity to become one is something that makes me truly thankful.

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

Related posts:

  1. Adultitis: Are Kids the Cause or the Cure? (PodCast) Adultitis is a chronic condition that plunders laughter, burns people...
  2. The Weird Thing About the Grass on the Other Side Sometimes I long for the days B.L. Before Lucy....
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The Scariest Part of Halloween: The Grown-Ups!

Monday, October 12th, 2009

110102_tricks_or_treatsHalloween is one of the greatest holidays. Like most holidays, it has its share of commercialism, but it doesn’t come with the obligations, guilt, and travel headaches of Christmas.

Dressing up. Getting candy. Having fun. What more could a kid ask for?

Unfortunately, a small segment of Adultitis-ridden do-gooders continue their assault on Halloween. It’s been said that misery loves company. That must be the reason why grown-ups suffering from full-blown cases of Adultitis are working so hard to ruin Halloween for kids.

This post might make a few people angry, but I’m willing to take the slings and arrows. I’m doing this for the kids. So without further ado, here are three groups of adults who are ruing everything:

The Holy Rollers.
I am a Christian. I went to Catholic School. My faith is very important to me. But I’ve never seen Halloween as a gateway to turn to the dark side.

Some folks associate Halloween with all things evil, treating it as an assault on all things holy. As much as I hate the over-commercialization of Christmas, I believe this is one instance where it has served us well. Sure, Halloween has some nefarious origins (and some pretty benign ones as well), but it really has become an amalgamation (what a fun word!) of many traditions. It is really more of a fantastical fairy tale, starring smiling pumpkins, dancing skeletons, and Frankenstien. A melting pot of a variety of sources and traditions, our modern Halloween has become its own unique and rich experience that offers a fun escape from the day-to-day.

Some of these people encourage kids to dress up like their favorite saint for Halloween. I’m sorry, but I’ve always thought this was lame. And I like saints! (St. Lucy is a particularly good one.)

Don’t get me wrong, if a kid really has a strong affinity for St. Maximilian Kolbe, let him go crazy with it. But let’s stop taking ourselves so seriously and start realizing that God isn’t going to send a kid to Hell for dressing up like a ballerina and ringing a few doorbells.

The Health Nuts.
Another group of people get cold sweats when they think of all the candy kids are consuming. Apparently, thanks to Halloween, kids instantly balloon into marshmallows and millions of teeth rot and fall out. Their solution is to hand out alternatives to candy. Things like sliced apples, toothbrushes, and even acorns — acorns!

Here’s a hint to keep your house from getting egged by all the little “devil worshippers”: If you plan on giving out toothbrushes or acorns this Halloween, do all the kids of the world a favor and just keep your house dark instead.

When I was a little shaver, my dad made us a snack every night. Usually it consisted of some combination of oranges, raisins, bananas, and yes, even sliced apples. But when Halloween rolled around, it was all about the sugar. We would binge on candy for a week and it was wonderful.

It was wonderful because it only happened once a year. Childhood obesity is a big problem these days, but it’s not because of Halloween. It’s because too many parents can’t say no to their kids, are too busy to prepare much else but fast food, and appease their children with chocolate and sugar.

If you can’t consume ten pounds of candy in one sitting with no ill effects when you’re a kid, when can you?

Politically Correct Wimps.
Then there are the folks who are scared of offending anyone and would rest easier if Halloween was cancelled. A couple of years ago, the Madison School District superintendent said that they don’t encourage schools to have costume parties. “Some cultures don’t look at dressing up in costumes the same way as others,” she said.

When my wife was teaching kindergarten, she ran into this every October. There was a very small contingency that wanted to do away with Halloween altogether, for fear that someone, somewhere, would be offended.

I don’t know about you, but every time I see a five-year-old dressed up like Spiderman with a bag full of Milk Duds and Milky Ways, my blood just boils.

Why have we lost our perspective? Why have we become so over-sensitive about everything? These days, political correctness might just be a fancy way for an Adultitis-stricken grown-up to say, “I’m angry, miserable, and afraid, and I hate seeing other people happy.”

My secret dream would be for Freddy Krueger to give them all wedgies in their sleep.

In the eyes of children, Halloween is a national holiday. Dressing up like Princess Leia or Darth Vader and eating some Hershey bars is not going to hurt anyone. Grown-ups, please, get some perspective, get some help for your Adultitis, and quit ruining everything.

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

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Adultitis: Are Kids the Cause or the Cure? (PodCast)

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009


121806_videoAdultitis is a chronic condition that plunders laughter, burns people out, and turns them into zombie-like doo-doo heads. It causes stress — lots of it. Sometimes it seems like stress and parenthood go hand in hand.

When my wife and I were expecting our first child, I was amazed at how many people came out of the woodwork to give us their advice and impressions on parenthood. Because I travel the country speaking to audiences about life balance and how to cure themselves from Adultitis, I opened myself up to many diverse points of view. More amazing than the sheer amount of opinion we received was the degree to which it varied.

After hearing our program, scores of people informed us that kids were the undisputed cause of Adultitis.

I remember the cab driver who told us that kids are not worth the investment because they grow up to hate you and won’t take care of you when you get old. Considering this little gem came after he admitted he spent most of his time gambling and pretty much drank himself to sleep every night, I took his opinion with a grain of salt.

Other people offered the ever common, “Get as much sleep as you can!” or “Enjoy your last days of freedom!” or the always uplifting, “Your life is over.”

Add to that mix the number of stern warnings about how certain foods or disciplinary techniques or sleeping schedules or brand of diapers can irreparably jack up your kid for life, and Kim and I were terribly concerned that this foray into parenthood was a colossal mistake.

But then I remembered an interview I’d heard with Eddie Vedder, lead singer of Pearl Jam, who said having his little girl made everything he did before her seem like a waste of time.

And after my talks, another type of people couldn’t wait to express their more optimistic take on parenthood. They shared things like, “You’re going to love it!” or “Becoming a parent was the greatest thing that ever happened to me!” The happy gleam in their eye told me they were telling the truth.

These folks actually believed that having kids was the cure to Adultitis.

This strange dichotomy alerted us to the fact that something was up. How could perfectly normal-looking people (cab driver excluded) come up with such differing opinions on this subject? Who was right?

The truth is, they both are. But the phenomenon of encountering such a varied spectrum of opinion led me to believe that Adultitis has nothing to do with the kids. Instead, the sentiments revealed said everything about the person sharing it.

Certainly, parenthood is filled with all sorts of unappealing elements: stinky diapers, a smaller bank account, bigger worries, and yes, less sleep (among other things.) But you know what? Life without kids has its own share of headaches and inconveniences. Everybody deals with challenges, frustrations, and bad days. Every day, stupid stuff happens that’s out of our control. How we react to them is up to us.

I decided before my daughter Lucy was even born that I was going to accept the bad sides of parenting as part of the job, but I wasn’t going to dwell on them. Instead, I’d focus on appreciating the little things, realizing that the whole process would go by in the blink of an eye. I vowed to take advantage of the opportunity to see life though the new eyes of my little girl, and maybe recapture some of the joy and curiosity that I might have lost on my own journey. I decided to remain in the present, enjoying each and every stage of her development, without getting caught up in the trap of thinking, “Life will be better when she can: sleep through the night / sit up on her own / feed herself / go to school / drive her own car to the mall.” That game leads to nothing but regret over missing out on the little moments along the way.

I fully expected that having Lucy would be the beginning of a new and wonderfully exciting adventure. So far, I have been right.

So, are kids the cause of or the cure to Adultitis?

Turns out, the answer is entirely up to you.

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

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