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Read A Book Means Tell A Story

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

It's funny what sticks in kids' heads. But somehow, on Sunday, K2 overheard me describing for her big sister a sculpture I saw this weekend, and it's been non-stop, "Read the book about Daddy's friend Jamie again!" ever since.

So here it is:

On Saturday, I went to my friend Andrew's gallery to see some art by my friend Jamie.

She made a sculpture. It was big and round like a soccer ball, and kind of lumpy.

And it was painted all over, with patches, like a quilt. It was sitting on a box.

And when I got there, I saw Jamie, and then she went to hide inside the sculpture.

She only left one leg sticking out, and one arm. And she was holding a big ring, from a boat. Like in Curious George.

She sat very, very still, and she didn't move. Like she was part of the sculpture. And so people didn't know if it was a real arm, and she was hiding inside.

She had a friend help her hide, and she didn't let anybody else see her get inside the sculpture.

And she has her iPod in there, and her friend helps her get out when she wants a break, to go to the bathroom, or to eat some dinner. She hides inside the sculpture for 30 minutes, and then she takes a break for 30 minutes.

The end. Except that we repeat the story over and over and over again. Makes me want to crawl inside a soccer ball and hide.

Jamie Isenstein's "Dancing Pop-Up Fishing Sculpture" and other works are on view at Andrew Kreps Gallery through Mar. 20 [andrewkreps.com]

Posted in about daddytypes, art, awesome, k2, newyork, sculpture | Comments Off

The 10 Sippy Cup Day

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

The wife's at a conference all week.

In Hawaii.

And she just knew I knew about the professional development day.

Of course, I knew about it.

When I got to kindergarten dropoff and saw no one else there.

And we're all the way to Virginia, but Costco doesn't even open until 11?

Whatever, it seemed like a fine day.

Except that somehow, by bedtime, literally every sippy cup in the house is in the sink.

Not sure what that means.

Posted in about daddytypes, k2, roadtrip, sippycup, thekid | Comments Off

Advertising Wants To Be Free!

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Please.

Please tell me I'm the only parent blogger who got an email from a publicist for NBC/Universal--the subsidiary of GE which is set to become the largest media company in the world when its sale to Comcast goes through--providing me links to actual banner ads--ads!--and inviting me to "feel free" to run them on my site to "spread the word" about the upcoming premiere of a TV series based on a twenty year old movie?

Seriously, tell me it's just me, and that NBC's paying rest of the dadblogs and momblogs and groupblogs out there big, fat CPM's, even more than McDonald's and HP. At least more than Free IQ Test! and University of Phoenix. Tell me that it's just because I decided not to join an ad network--not Federated Media, not Glam, not iVillage [owned by NBC!]--but stick with the somewhat clunky, lower key blogads instead.

Because I can handle that. I'm even fine with it. I keep Daddy Types the way it is on purpose. I want it to be useful, but also I like it like that; after 16 years in the Internet business, I am actually happy to not be obsessing over monetizing eyeballs or maximizing pageviews or capturing mindshare every waking moment of my life.

And that way, when I see ads on peoples' blogs, and people talking up the upcoming show, it's because they're getting paid handsomely for it, not because they're so stupid as to give free advertising--advertising, not even PR, actual ads!--to the biggest media company in the world.

subject: #$(*%ing Remake Banners for Your Site!
9:59 AM (5 hours ago)

HI there,

We have a ton of banners for the new series, ready to be hosted on your site and perfect for getting your readers excited for the March 2nd premiere! You can find them all by following this link and opening the zip file: http://www.nbcagencywc4.com/files_digital/Uhh_
no_Promo_Brand.zip. We also have specialized links for clickthroughs on some of the banners. Look for the full set of links below, which are listed next to the applicable title so you can easily match the link with the appropriate banner!

Feel free to put them up if you'd like to spread the word about [The show NBC wants bloggers to advertise for free!]

Enjoy,

XXXXXX

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120x600 & 160x600 banners:
All 468x60 multi-color banners:

Posted in Movies, about daddytypes, advertisers, blogpile, marketing, money, outofbusiness, publicists, tv, wtf, wtfagain | Comments Off

DT Cutestorm: K2 On A Snowboard

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

OK, first an apology to all the parents at Sundance yesterday who felt a twinge of inadequacy for your kids. I'm sure they're delightful, and you should be very proud.

That said, we did have some idea about how awesomely, hilariously, ridiculously cute K2 would look when we put her on a little snowboard, hauled her 20 yards up the hill next to the lift, and let her go. We'd seen another barely 2yo kid doing the exact same thing with his dad[s?] on Friday, and he was adorable and ecstatic.

But it was a complete surprise to us, too, when our kid would shout out, "Ready, get set, go!" at the top and, "I'm snowboarding! I'm snowboarding!" at the bottom.

2yo + snowboarding on YouTube: 53 results [youtube]

Posted in about daddytypes, awesome, k2, roadtrip, skiing, snow, travel, utah | Comments Off

The Snowed-In Village

Friday, February 12th, 2010

There were no taxis, and no taxis answering the phone, so my mother-in-law came to pick us up and take us to the airport. The roads were bone-dry and largely untrafficked. The airport was line-free. The planes were on schedule from the west coast, turned right around, and left on time. And somehow it wasn't until we landed in Salt Lake City that we actually, finally could believe we were free of the Snowpocalypse.

And now, looking back at the last, cooped up week, it feels like we were living in the middle of a M. Night Shyamalan movie: don't tell them the snow's only their street!

Posted in about daddytypes, roadtrip, snow, travel, utah, washingtondc, wtf | Comments Off

Skiing Lessons Indeed

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

We really want the kid to learn how to ski. Real skiing on real snow, too, none of that sad manmade ice-on-a-little-hill fake skiing they have on the East Coast. So we booked a trip to to Utah. Leaving today.

Assuming National Airport ever reopens. And assuming we can get to the airport without our car, which was buried again yesterday up to the door handles on a street that DC will never, ever plow, and not even because it's currently blocked on both ends: one by some suburban moron abandoned his Honda after spinning it sideways, Austin Powers-style, and the other by a teetering meat delivery truck.

And assuming my mother-in-law can bring our travel carseat to us from Reston, since we didn't think we needed to bring it home two weeks ago, why would we? I hear there's about 3-in. of new snow on the ground in Salt Lake City, too, so there should be even more than that in the mountains. And it's supposed to keep snowing through Saturday.

On the bright side, our luggage is all right here with us.

Posted in about daddytypes, airplane, roadtrip, skiing, snow, thekid, utah, wtf | Comments Off

Two Degrees Of Jenny McCarthy

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

This just in from Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy:

Dr Andrew Wakefield, whose vacctivist shitstorm-causing article was just formally retracted by The Lancet after his data was discovered to be fabricated and his research methodology was found by a British professional panel to be unethical, is the target of a highly coordinated, no-holds-barred, all-expenses paid, media smearing campaign, wherein a "kangaroo court" was manipulated by Big Vaccine and the Medical Establishment to prevent the publication of Wakefield's new, explosive study, which involves fourteen monkeys, and which shows that vaccines do too cause autism.

Now if only Jenny weren't so busy challenging the peer-reviewed medical journal system and writing forewords for authors whose publishers buy ads on DT, she could tell me where to find that underrated masterpiece, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, on Blu-Ray. Seriously, that was even better than Cat In The Hat.

I just realized that both of those movies were based on books written by a doctor. This can't be a coincidence!

A Statement from Jenny McCarthy & Jim Carrey: Andrew Wakefield, Scientific Censorship, and Fourteen Monkeys [ageofautism.com via @dadcentric]

Posted in DadCentric, Movies, about daddytypes, autism, celebritiesarejustlikeus, drseuss, dtadvertisers, freakout, health, science, uhh, vacctivists | Comments Off

On The Bright Side, This May Cure The Kid’s Pony Fixation

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

After some playground discussion, apparently, the kid decided she was a Colts fan. Because, you know, horses.

And sure enough, she watched her first Superbowl with the intensity of a crappy, watered-down beer addict.

And as we started bundling her off to bed, she managed, in between her sobs to say, "Every time I watch my team loses."

Which I think is the Redskins' motto, so that's convenient.

Posted in Sports, about daddytypes, horses, thekid, washingtondc | Comments Off

DT Advertiser Shoutout: Gold Pants Edition

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

It's a snowbound Sunday night, and a doddering, old English couple just lipsynched in the middle of an LED extravaganza. What better time to give a shoutout to the advertisers who support Daddy Types and line the kids' 529 plans?

And what better time than when there's an ad for a controversial and scientifically problematic book, to reiterate the Daddy Types policy of not accepting or rejecting advertisements based on their content or political views? [With the exception of porn and gaming, which I do reject, after being sandbagged by CNN, which switched out an ad for a Glenn Beck week-long "expose'" about online porn addiction.]

So thanks to:

Palgrave Macmillan, who advertised Dr. Julie Buckley's new book, "Healing Our Autistic Children," which asserts rather strongly that ASD should be considered a medical condition, which can be "cured" through aggressive dietary, vitamin/supplement, homeopathic, and other controversial treatments not endorsed by the medical and psychology mainstream.

Adams Publishing, who thinks that, instead of chocolates, new moms might prefer "The Mominatrix's Guide To Sex," by Kristen Chase for Valentine's Day. Chase, who is also a blogger, ends her author's bio with this: "She currently resides with her family in Atlanta, where she chases after her kids and pleases her husband." Which is nice, as long as she's pleased, too, if you know what I'm sayin.'

Seal Publishing, who also thinks books are better than chocolates, books such as Amy Ferris's "Marrying George Clooney," a laugh/cry/laugh again look at romantic life during and after menopause. Why not plan [way] ahead, and get both books?

Sakura infant carriers, whose ad, you should know, has the absolute highest performance of any ad ever on Daddy Types. EVER. By an order of magnitude. No one can resist the power of a man wearing a baby.

And a perennial shoutout to Daddy Types' sponsors, Sparkability, EliteCarSeats.com, and JoggingStroller.com, who give Daddy Types a little kickback when readers place an order via their ads.

Posted in Books, about daddytypes, advertisers, autism, babywearing, sex | Comments Off

More Words K2 Gets Amusingly Wrong

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

iPod = iPog
smoke or steam, as comes out of the sidewalk or the middle of the street = Holy Smokes!

The first is just mis-hearing, but holy smokes? That reminds me that she's not just making these up; she's picking them up from the people around her.

Which is why she wanders around with her toy cell phone pressed to her ear, going, "It's me."

And why the kid surprised me at the same age by exclaiming, "Dude!" and I learned that's what my wife says to drivers who cut her off on the freeway.

Previously: Cake Cups!

Posted in about daddytypes, cellphones, k2, language | Comments Off

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