Archive for July, 2009

Content Creation is Fun

Friday, July 31st, 2009

Content creation is fun. I love writing sure, but creating content using many different elements is remarkably rewarding. The Collective Inkwell just created out first commercial for Potty Training Power, our system for potty training help.

David Wright did all the drawings, a buddy did the music, and I wrote the jingle then put it all together. Enjoy!

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An Open Letter To Ashley Tisdale

Friday, July 31st, 2009
Dear Ashley Tisdale--

I see you have a new movie, Aliens In The Attic, opening today. Actually, it took several viewings of the commercial before I even realized you were in the movie. You decided not to do The Suite Life On Deck so you could concentrate on dreck like this?

You should have parlayed the Sharpay role into a lucrative movie career by now. I realize your cast mate, Vaneesa Hudgens, isn't doing much better, but I do see her face CONSTANTLY in the trailer for Bandslam, in which she plays the girl with silent 5. Apparently, Gabriella not only got the guy, she got the career as well (or at the very least, the screen time).

Listen, Ash (can I call you Ash?). You need to shed the Disney image before you wake up one day to discover you signed on to play the mom in the umpteenth remake of Freaky Friday. I have a brilliant suggestion that will successfully remove those mouse ears from your noggin: take a small role in a indie movie helmed by a respected director. Make sure you appear topless in said role.

And should you foolishly decide not to follow my advice, I hope Phineas And Ferb has a nice long run.

Hugs & Kisses,
Chag

sweet juniper! 2009-07-30 12:56:00

Thursday, July 30th, 2009
They drag the kids to dinner parties because they don't have a sitter, a small grace that normally saves them from the obligations of smoky bars and bands they'd rather not stand around waiting for until midnight. "I'd be a hermit if it weren't for you," he tells his wife as they stroll up to the elaborately carved door. Both of them know that it is true. This is their usual routine: dinner;

Living Large in Your Faith

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

agape-leadby The Howitzer

One day a scribe came to Jesus and asked, “Jesus how does one live large in their faith?” Jesus responded, “it is simple my friend- you must love God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself, do this and you will live large!” Well, that may not have been exactly how the interchange went but I think the dialogue surrounding the giving of the great commandment speaks directly to the idea of how do we live an abundant life in the area of our faith.

One of the most difficult things for me as a laymen has been sorting through the question of what should my focus be. For some of you who know me, I have been actively involved in ministry for a long time. When I became a Christian in the early 80’s I was surrounded by a group of hyperactive, great commission Christians. From day one I experienced the positive peer pressure of ‘ministry being a natural part of the believers life’. I loved it! My exposure to Christianity up to that point had been less than impressive and to be honest I wasn’t sure what Christians did. As a young believer I came to understand that we were to love God with everything that was in us and we were to love others as we love ourselves! (Ala great commandments- Matt 22). Which included making disciples (i.e. fulfilling the great commission- Matt 28) in some form or fashion. The facts are simple:

Fact 1) Jesus summarizes all the commandments down to two: love God, love people!

Fact 2) His last words to His disciples about their mission focus is not only what He modeled, but is what the rest of the New Testament reveals!  We need to be about the business of making disciples.

THESE ARE REALLY BIG IN THE WORLD OF FOCUS!

After graduating from the University of Arkansas (Go Hogs!) I spent the first 16 years of my professional life as a vocational minister. Determining my ministry focus was easy in those days. My job was also my ministry. I had 2 focuses- ministry and personal life. Now maybe there is more loving or spiritual way to say that but the reality for me was that as a paid minister my life was pretty simple from a focus standpoint: Love God, Love People, Make Disciples! I used to get in trouble for not sharing the gospel enough! I really don’t mean that as oversimplification or a criticism of the paid vocational minister. In fact I feel just the opposite. As a layman one of the things I have longed for is a simplification of focus. I remember talking to one of lay-buddies after I had been working in the business world for a little over a year and he was asking me if I was going to take a volunteer position at our church and I remember telling him “I don’t think I have time, this new job is screwing up my schedule!” Maybe I don’t have a big enough capacity for doing a lot of things. Maybe I am just your typical male- one thing at time! Maybe I am a wimp! But if I get too many big focuses going on at the same time I get frustrated!

For years when I was a vocational guy, people would ask me about my calling. I always thought that was a funny question because I felt like my calling was like every other believers. As I read the Bible it seemed real simple to me: Great Commandment and Great Commission! Now living that out is extremely challenging but embracing those as a guide is really easy! And I think very Biblical. I always felt like God’s call on my life came out of the Bible not some emotional experience on some mountain somewhere (though I am sure that God has spoken to men specifically on mountains before!) Just because I changed jobs doesn’t mean God’s call on my life has changed. My application of God’s call is different but the content is the same. As I live my life I am convinced that I must be involved in loving God, loving people and making disciples!

My siblings always accused me of changing the rules to games we played when we were kids. And, I guess to a degree they were right. I have always felt like I could play any game as long as I knew the rules. The rules of the laymen’s world are not recorded anywhere. So, sometimes when we want to play the game we are not sure how to. I think the reason I started blogging was that the only guys who are laying down rules in this world aren’t laymen. I want to hear what experienced laymen have to say about what the rules are! GUYS IT IS TIME TO SPEAK UP…. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE… WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING? I am tired of griping and complaining and hearing guys griping and complaining about not being fulfilled or being unsure about how to live the Christian Laymen’s Life! WE NEED TO HELP EACH OTHER!

The Key to living the life God intended in our faith is to simplify our focus- Our focus should be to Love God, Love People and Make Disciples wherever you are! Live large my brother!

Photo by Coolm36

Ear Candy (Or Eye Candy, Depending On The Person)

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
I need an anthem. Got one I can borrow?

If I were 14 years younger, this would do nicely:



Even so, I can still roll down the windows and scream along to the song.

Midlife crisis, anyone?

sweet juniper! 2009-07-29 15:07:00

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
Sounds like they're re-airing my interview with Dick Gordon on American Public Media's The Story today. If you're visiting for the first time, welcome. Stories related to the subject matter of that interview can be found here and here. I want to note that I have never called or considered myself an "urban explorer," and I dislike the term almost as much as I groan when people call Detroit "a

Swine Flu Sucks! A Lot!!

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

I don’t care what the doctor says; I blame the chocolate covered bacon I bought at the Fair.

Never in a million years did I ever expect that anybody in my family, or even anybody I knew, would ever get hit with some media scare worldwide epidemic. Boy was I wrong…

My daughter’s been learning about all kinds of animals in preschool the past few months and wanted to see some “real” ones. Apparently the ones on TV, in books, or I draw aren’t good enough for her anymore.

So here I thought, “Hey! The L.A. Zoo is pretty dirty and smelly so let’s avoid the place because we could get bird flu by just walking through the turnstiles.”
And “The L.A. Country Fairy is pretty dirty, smelly, scary, and last time I was there I ate a deep-fried Oreo and nearly died near the deep-fried pork chop on-a-stick wagon.”
But 5 years ago we paid a visit to the Orange County Fair down South and saw Huey Lewis in concert.

HUEY LEWIS!!

And they have dancing cows, acrobatic horses, race car driving pigs, chickens that play ragtime on piano’s while smoking cigars… you know things people normally don’t see everyday - except if you live in Fontana. But Huey Lewis would never visit Fontana.

What could be better, right?

It all happened just after the visit to the chocolate covered bacon cart… Oh, in case you’re wondering, it’s basically salad-style bacon bits in chocolate clusters, but packaged in a Chinese take-out box. It’s like salty chocolate - Weird!
So there we were watching the Chinese acrobats holding live horses, on their heads, and then the horses were speaking Chinese and stuff (“Don’t drop us! Don’t drop us!” – I understand Chinese fluently) and then my daughter says “Daddy I’m not feeling good…”

“Don’t worry, they’re not going to drop the horses anymore…”

Two days later we’re at the doctor and while he’s telling us the news (“You’re daughter has Influenza A, subtype H1N1 othewise known as…”) I’m thinking to myself does that mean my family has to join some leprosy style camp now far away somewhere, like Fontana, separated from civilization?

Thankfully we weren’t sent to Fontana (Thank God!) It just meant my daughter was sick for 3 more days, which wasn’t too bad. But then my wife got bronchitis after getting the plague, but then recovered after the week. And fortunately nobody turned into a pig or started squealing while sleeping like I’ve heard so much about on ‘the News.’

The lesson learned: don’t ever go outside again.

The Middle of the Moon

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
Heat. Melted chocolate on the kitchen counter. Hand prints fading silently down the hall. Heat. Bare skin clinging to furniture warmed needy and soft. The release holding pools of sweat that feel cool but for a second against the hot, hot air. Heat.

A long ride brings comfort. A long ride lets your body ease and your mind breathe. A long ride forgives the heat and hums along to songs best played in the car. There is more road than traffic. There is more horizon than conversation. There is a sunset and you find yourself driving towards it.

The neighborhood twists like it did last summer. It turns around bright-eyed. There is a clinic on the corner with a woman being wheeled in a chair by an orderly. Her neck is bent at an unnatural angle. Her view of the sunset is unlike any I'll ever know.

There is a father and a daughter picking flowers in the shade. She is laughing and he is soaking up every note with the sponges inside him. The flowers are slightly wilted and their job is forgotten.

A trunk is open and three people stand around it. Perhaps they are fresh from the market. Perhaps there is a body hidden inside. Perhaps they have a thing for trunks. I try to look as we pass them by but their backs are a wall and their expressions are blank.

I like to think they all saw something different.

Then there is an opening and green grass and children playing. We add ours to them. The sun sinks into the ocean and we don't miss it.

The moon is torn down the middle. The long ride reflects this upon bodies of water and now dark windshields. A small voice says that half the moon is in his pocket. A small voice says that the cloud stretched lightly across the sky is a blanket.

Goodnight, Moon.

Goodnight, two small voices and a man saying hush.

Goodnight to the woman driving them home.

The road keeps humming and the moon sleeps sound. The heat hides, waiting.

An Open Letter To David Foster Wallace

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
Dear David Foster Wallace--

I tried.

Really, I tried.

But I just couldn't get into Infinite Jest.

Maybe I'm too stupid to get it. Maybe the sheer size of the book (1,077 pages!) got to me (but I must congratulate you on writing a book I could've used as a weapon if necessary).

But I finally had to stop on page 111.

See? I told you I tried!

Sure, there were some funny parts. Some parts that made me think. But I had no idea what the hell was going on. Was there a plot in there somewhere and I just missed it? I really thought I would've been able to figure that out by page 111.

Maybe someday when I'm smarter or have more time to myself (re: find myself on a deserted island), I'll revisit Infinite Jest. Until then, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Hugs & Kisses,
Chag

The Drop-Off

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

By Greg Primmbeachlead

My family and I just returned from a week at the beach.  We’ve been going to Orange Beach, AL for years and I still can’t get comfortable with the fact that I’m going to Alabama for vacation.  No offense to any of my readers from Alabama.  It’s a fine state, just not the first place that comes to mind when you think of great beach vacations.

In fact, I’ve caught myself telling people I’m going to Florida for vacation instead of Alabama.  Just something a little more cool about the sound of it.

You never quite know what you’re going to get when you go to the gulf coast.  We’ve endured tropical storms, rough surf, jellyfish so plentiful you couldn’t go in the water, sharks, etc.

One of the things I enjoy is the constant change of the coastline from tides and the never-ending barrage of waves crashing against the sand.  In the morning, you may have deep water near the beach and shallow water a little further out.  In the afternoon, it may be a shallow, smooth, sandy bottom for 50 yards or more into the gulf.

One morning as I took the kids into the water, I had the opportunity to observe my two daughters encounter, and conquer, something we all deal with on a daily basis.

You see, this particular morning, the ocean had carved a steep descent from where our chairs were located to the water. It was maybe 4 feet deep.   In fact, once you hit the water, you had another couple of feet to descend until the bottom leveled out.  Once you got maybe ten feet out into the water, it was only a couple of feet deep.  But those first few steps were huge.  It even caused me to be a little off-balance.

My girls were very hesitant to get in the water.  From the top of the beach, it looked like a huge, scary drop into the water to my 5 and 8 year olds.  In fact, their first attempt at walking down the steep slope caused them to suddenly get the urge to build a sand castle from the safety of the beach.

However, I was already safely down the slope and knew that the water was shallow once you got past the initial off-balance walk into it.

Sensing a bit of a teaching moment, I spent the next 5 minutes explaining that the first part was very hard, but once you got past that, the water was great — perfect depth, perfect temperature, etc.  Oh sure, there will still be obstacles - seaweed, shells, maybe the odd jellyfish - but they weren’t nearly as bad as taking those first tentative steps.  And once you’re in — you don’t have to go back through the first part again.

But, what about later when you had to climb back up the hill?  See, the ocean was already re-shaping the shore line and smoothing out the decline so it wasn’t so steep.

Ultimately, they made it into the water and both girls agreed that it was worth the climb down the hill to get into the water.  In fact, I had a hard time getting them to take a break that morning cause the water was so great.

See, in life so many of us stop at the beginning when the going gets hard.  You’ve made all the preparations - which don’t really cost you much in the way of emotions.  But when you encounter the first trial, the first reaction is to reverse course and quit.  I’ve done this many times myself.

What we don’t realize is that if we would just push through the temporary difficulties to the other side, we’ll find that success was closer than we thought.  There will still be problems - those never go away - but they won’t seem so insurmountable as that first obstacle.

Why does this happen?  I think most people are scared to take a risk and so they artificially turn small difficulties into huge mountains to climb.  My daughters thought the drop-off was ten feet when it really was much less.  In fact, if you prepared yourself for the drop-off, it was really pretty easy to navigate.

So, how do you know when the difficulty you are facing is merely a small obstacle versus a major issue that should make you re-consider?

Ultimately, only you can answer that question.  However, I try to look at obstacles objectively and determine:

  • How big is it?  Is this really fear making me feel this way?
  • How long will it last?
  • What will it take to overcome?  Often, if you take a step back, the path around the obstacle becomes clear.

I have no idea if my little teaching moment with my daughters stuck with them, but I know it did for me.

Photo credit:  straymuse