THE FATHER LIFE | the men's magazine for today's fathers

Dad Blog Spotlight: Building Camelot

By: Ben Martin
June 2, 2008

Imagine a website dedicated to helping men, where you could find great reflections on being a father and articles on things you find relevant, like golf, HDTV, even reviews on disposable razors... if you're thinking that site is The Father Life, that's a good guess. But I'm talking about Building Camelot, Tyler Wainright's blog dedicated to being a better father and husband. It's a blog worth bookmarking (and even subscribing to RSS), but before you go and do that, check out my interview with Tyler below.

TFL: How about some introductory/background info... Who are you?

TW: My name is Tyler Wainright. I'm 30 years old and I've been married to my wonderful wife Amanda for almost 7 years. We have a beautiful daughter together named Olivia and we are expecting another girl in late July. I joke and tell people that my new favorite color is pink - there's no way of getting around it now! We are very excited about the new addition and can't wait to meet her.

My wife and I knew each other when we were kids. Our parents went to the same church so we did many church activities and youth group functions together. We dated on and off during high school and went our separate ways after graduation. About 3 years later we happened to be at church together and I struck up a conversation which eventually led to a date. A few years later we got married in that church and now we're about to have another child - wow!

I have an older sister who lives in Dallas. My wife has a sister, too--an identical twin! It's a pretty interesting dynamic between my wife and her sister. Both of our parents are divorced so holidays are not as much fun as you might think. We basically have to go to 4 houses every holiday instead of two. That can get real old real quick.

TFL: What's your "real job"?

TW: By "real job" I'm guessing that you mean the one that pays the bills? I'm a Senior Logistics Programs Analyst for a large medical distribution center here in Memphis. I have been with the company for over 6 years but I have only been in the distribution center for 3 years. Basically I'm a data guy. I assist just about everyone with everything from data mining and trending analysis to customer ordering patterns and behavior. I'm no Visual Basic programmer, but I consider myself pretty good in Excel and Access.

However, my favorite job title is "Dad." The job is hard work but I have a fantastic little boss and the rewards are immeasurable. My daughter is a big inspiration for my blog. She's almost non-stop entertainment and she has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined.

TFL: How long have you been blogging? How did you get started in the blogosphere?

TW: My very first blog post was on January 3rd, 2007. It was on my TylerTalk blog that I don't update or maintain anymore. I wanted to blog about anything and everything golf but soon found myself losing interest and I was very uninspired. It was a good learning lesson for me and it ultimately drove me to start Building Camelot.

I learned that great blogs are written by people who are genuinely involved in their subject matter. Golf was just something that I enjoyed but didn't want to make golf a priority in life. After reading a book from Stu Weber called The Four Pillars Of A Man's Heart, I was inspired to blog about what it's like to be a man today and help other guys become better husbands and fathers.

I struggled with starting a blog about how to be a better father and husband because I thought, "Who would listen to me about this? What would my wife think? What would other people think?" But I soon realized that being a father and husband is the one thing I'm intimately involved with on a daily basis. What better subject to blog about?

TFL: What piece of knowledge is absolutely essential for us to understand who you are?

TW: I'm really just your average, everyday kind of guy. I was a C student in high school... I'm not that great at sports... I'm not that handy around the house and I'm not that great in the kitchen or on the grill. It even took me 7 years to graduate college! With all that comes my own unique insight into life as a father and husband. And that's what will make Building Camelot a great place to learn how to be a better husband and father.

TFL: Any final words of wisdom?

TW: My plan is to make Building Camelot a great resource for men, women, wives, dads and husbands. I hope to provide unique and fresh content to make it a great place to share stories and encourage other men and women to be there for their children and for each other.

Here's one of Tyler's more popular blog entries:

My 5 Biggest Fears Being a Dad

By Tyler Wainright, March 30th, 2008

My day-to-day activities don't revolve around fear, but I am aware of the fragile nature of life. I maintain a healthy respect for life and all the dangers that lurk around us everyday.

Now that I am a father, my responsibilities have changed more than I could have ever imagined. And with that responsibility comes a great sense of accomplishment and pride. What scares me the most are things that can take that away.

Loss Of A Child

My wife miscarried the first time she got pregnant. It was a difficult time in our life because we lost a child. We never knew if it was a boy or a girl because the miscarriage happened around 8 weeks. Luckily we were blessed with a beautiful daughter about a year later.

To this day, nothing in this world scares me more than the thought of losing one of my children.

I could not imagine living in a world without the amazing spirit of my daughter. She makes my days brighter in every way imaginable. Without her, my world would have no inspiration, love or sunshine.

Everyday I am thankful because I am undeserving of such a beautiful and healthy daughter. I know there are many parents and children out there that are not so lucky. They battle life and loss to a degree that I can't imagine and for that, they are much stronger than me. My heart goes out to any parent that has had to suffer the loss of a child.

Loss Of My Wife

Next to loosing one of my children, loosing my wife is one of my biggest fears. I don't question my ability to raise my daughters alone, but loosing my wife, their mother, would be devastating.

It would affect the way I would be as a man and as a father. I feel very strongly about kids being raised in a house with a mom and a dad and my wife provides so much balance in my life and in Olivia's life.

I couldn't bear to see my children grow up without their mother. I couldn't bear to see my grand children grow up without their grandmother.

Loss Of Interaction

There is noting more magical in this world than being part of a child's world and helping them grow up. When I'm with my daughter and she is figuring out something for the first time or just having a good time, I'm beside myself with happiness. It's become such a part of my daily routine that I can't imagine not being there as she grows up.

Can you imagine never seeing your children open another Christmas present? learn to ride a bike? ace a test? graduate high school?

I know some loss is inevitable as kids grow older and my role as father will change over time. Everyday when I drop off my daughter at school I can't help but think “What if I lose all this?”

Loss Of Love

I want my daughter to call me 20 years from now and still love her dad that same way she does now — Okay, she doesn't love me as much as she loves her mom but I don't want to give her a reason not love me.

My heart melts every time my daughter gives me a hug or when she asks me to help her with something. I never want to lose that! I never want to give her a reason to never need or love her dad. I think this is another thing that dads have to work on.

Just like we do with our wives, we need to build our relationships with out children. We need to learn what they love, learn their fears and learn their dreams.

Loss Of My Self

People change...we all change. I don't expect to be the exact same person 20 years from now as I am today. What scares me is the thought of loosing my sense of responsibility as a father to my children. If I lose my self then who will they turn to in times of need and hardship?

I don't want to become apathetic about being a father. I never want to give up trying to become a better father for my children.

I'm not sure WHY you might give up trying to be a father - but that's what scares me.

Link:

http://buildingcamelot.com


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Dad Blog Spotlight: Building Camelot By: Ben Martin June 2, 2008 Imagine a website dedicated to helping men, where you could find great reflections on being a father and articles on things you find relevant, like golf, HDTV, even reviews on disposable razors... if you're thinking that site is The Father Life, that's a good guess. But I'm talking about Building Camelot, Tyler Wainright's blog dedicated to being a better father and husband. It's a blog worth bookmarking (and even subscribing to RSS), but before you go and do that, check out my interview with Tyler below. TFL: How about some introductory/background info... Who are you? TW: My name is Tyler Wainright. I'm 30 years old and I've been married to my wonderful wife Amanda for almost 7 years. We have a beautiful daughter together named Olivia and we are expecting another girl in late July. I joke and tell people that my new favorite color is pink - there's no way of getting around it now! We are very excited about the new addition and can't wait to meet her. My wife and I knew each other when we were kids. Our parents went to the same church so we did many church activities and youth group functions together. We dated on and off during high school and went our separate ways after graduation. About 3 years later we happened to be at church together and I struck up a conversation which eventually led to a date. A few years later we got married in that church and now we're about to have another child - wow! I have an older sister who lives in Dallas. My wife has a sister, too--an identical twin! It's a pretty interesting dynamic between my wife and her sister. Both of our parents are divorced so holidays are not as much fun as you might think. We basically have to go to 4 houses every holiday instead of two. That can get real old real quick. TFL: What's your "real job"? TW: By "real job" I'm guessing that you mean the one that pays the bills? I'm a Senior Logistics Programs Analyst for a large medical distribution center here in Memphis. I have been with the company for over 6 years but I have only been in the distribution center for 3 years. Basically I'm a data guy. I assist just about everyone with everything from data mining and trending analysis to customer ordering patterns and behavior. I'm no Visual Basic programmer, but I consider myself pretty good in Excel and Access. However, my favorite job title is "Dad." The job is hard work but I have a fantastic little boss and the rewards are immeasurable. My daughter is a big inspiration for my blog. She's almost non-stop entertainment and she has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined. TFL: How long have you been blogging? How did you get started in the blogosphere? TW: My very first blog post was on January 3rd, 2007. It was on my TylerTalk blog that I don't update or maintain anymore. I wanted to blog about anything and everything golf but soon found myself losing interest and I was very uninspired. It was a good learning lesson for me and it ultimately drove me to start Building Camelot. I learned that great blogs are written by people who are genuinely involved in their subject matter. Golf was just something that I enjoyed but didn't want to make golf a priority in life. After reading a book from Stu Weber called The Four Pillars Of A Man's Heart, I was inspired to blog about what it's like to be a man today and help other guys become better husbands and fathers. I struggled with starting a blog about how to be a better father and husband because I thought, "Who would listen to me about this? What would my wife think? What would other people think?" But I soon realized that being a father and husband is the one thing I'm intimately involved with on a daily basis. What better subject to blog about? TFL: What piece of knowledge is absolutely essential for us to understand who you are? TW: I'm really just your average, everyday kind of guy. I was a C student in high school... I'm not that great at sports... I'm not that handy around the house and I'm not that great in the kitchen or on the grill. It even took me 7 years to graduate college! With all that comes my own unique insight into life as a father and husband. And that's what will make Building Camelot a great place to learn how to be a better husband and father. TFL: Any final words of wisdom? TW: My plan is to make Building Camelot a great resource for men, women, wives, dads and husbands. I hope to provide unique and fresh content to make it a great place to share stories and encourage other men and women to be there for their children and for each other. Here's one of Tyler's more popular blog entries: My 5 Biggest Fears Being a Dad By Tyler Wainright, March 30th, 2008 My day-to-day activities don't revolve around fear, but I am aware of the fragile nature of life. I maintain a healthy respect for life and all the dangers that lurk around us everyday. Now that I am a father, my responsibilities have changed more than I could have ever imagined. And with that responsibility comes a great sense of accomplishment and pride. What scares me the most are things that can take that away. Loss Of A Child My wife miscarried the first time she got pregnant. It was a difficult time in our life because we lost a child. We never knew if it was a boy or a girl because the miscarriage happened around 8 weeks. Luckily we were blessed with a beautiful daughter about a year later. To this day, nothing in this world scares me more than the thought of losing one of my children. I could not imagine living in a world without the amazing spirit of my daughter. She makes my days brighter in every way imaginable. Without her, my world would have no inspiration, love or sunshine. Everyday I am thankful because I am undeserving of such a beautiful and healthy daughter. I know there are many parents and children out there that are not so lucky. They battle life and loss to a degree that I can't imagine and for that, they are much stronger than me. My heart goes out to any parent that has had to suffer the loss of a child. Loss Of My Wife Next to loosing one of my children, loosing my wife is one of my biggest fears. I don't question my ability to raise my daughters alone, but loosing my wife, their mother, would be devastating. It would affect the way I would be as a man and as a father. I feel very strongly about kids being raised in a house with a mom and a dad and my wife provides so much balance in my life and in Olivia's life. I couldn't bear to see my children grow up without their mother. I couldn't bear to see my grand children grow up without their grandmother. Loss Of Interaction There is noting more magical in this world than being part of a child's world and helping them grow up. When I'm with my daughter and she is figuring out something for the first time or just having a good time, I'm beside myself with happiness. It's become such a part of my daily routine that I can't imagine not being there as she grows up. Can you imagine never seeing your children open another Christmas present? learn to ride a bike? ace a test? graduate high school? I know some loss is inevitable as kids grow older and my role as father will change over time. Everyday when I drop off my daughter at school I can't help but think “What if I lose all this?” Loss Of Love I want my daughter to call me 20 years from now and still love her dad that same way she does now — Okay, she doesn't love me as much as she loves her mom but I don't want to give her a reason not love me. My heart melts every time my daughter gives me a hug or when she asks me to help her with something. I never want to lose that! I never want to give her a reason to never need or love her dad. I think this is another thing that dads have to work on. Just like we do with our wives, we need to build our relationships with out children. We need to learn what they love, learn their fears and learn their dreams. Loss Of My Self People change...we all change. I don't expect to be the exact same person 20 years from now as I am today. What scares me is the thought of loosing my sense of responsibility as a father to my children. If I lose my self then who will they turn to in times of need and hardship? I don't want to become apathetic about being a father. I never want to give up trying to become a better father for my children. I'm not sure WHY you might give up trying to be a father - but that's what scares me. Link: http://buildingcamelot.com