THE FATHER LIFE | the men's magazine for today's fathers

Osburn On Tap: The Great Debate Rages On

By: Chris Osburn
May 26, 2008

Should you feel bad for adding extra ingredients to your beer to enhance the flavor? In the case of Corona, I’m fairly sure it’s mandatory. There really is no point in drinking a Corona if you forgot to purchase limes. I guarantee if you took a Pabst Blue Ribbon and added a lime to it; it would taste exactly like a Corona. But what about other brews? Should you feel any regret for adding another flavor or two into the mix?

Beer connoisseurs, as well as most writers, will undoubtedly give you a very firm, “No.” They will bring up the fact that someone worked very hard to create the perfect recipe for their beer. They strove for months to make sure they had the right amount of hops. They not only poured various extracts into their brew to make it just right, they poured their heart and soul into it as well. Who are you to change their masterpiece? You wouldn’t walk into the Louvre and draw a Fu Manchu mustache and a monocle on the Mona Lisa, would you?

Well, if you just spent ten bucks to buy a six pack of a craft beer, you have every right in the world to do whatever you want with it. Feel free to freeze it and turn it into beer popsicles, it won’t bother me. As for adding ingredients like fruit and ice cream to beer, as George W. Bush would say, “If it feels good, do it.” Nobody else should be allowed to tell you what you like. If you like a scoop of vanilla ice cream in your Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout, who’s to tell you you’re wrong?

If adding a slice of orange to your Blue Moon makes you enjoy it more, go ahead and do it. There’s no official law against it, just a bunch of old guys who don’t like things messed around with. They strongly believe that the flavor and consistency of the yeast is changed by the acidity of a citrus fruit. If you screw around with it too much, you may end up with no head whatsoever. But don’t let anyone tell you that you are destroying centuries of German culture by adding a lemon. In southern Germany they have a drink called a Radler. This strange beverage is a mixture of hefeweizen and lemonade. Give that one a whirl if you are feeling really adventurous.

Right or wrong, it’s your beer, you bought it. If you try it and decide you enjoy it, don’t feel bad--there are a lot of people who agree with you. The same goes for those who try it and end up hating it; you’ve got just as many people in your corner.

Add whatever you want to your beer, go crazy. Just not too crazy; some things should be left in your fridge or pantry. Take for example “SkittleBrau,” created by the beloved beer pioneer, Homer J. Simpson, on the television show The Simpsons. This concoction tastes even worse than it sounds. I attempted to make “SkittleBrau” back in college with very negative results. It’s not a very complicated process, so bear with me. Step one: open a beer and pour it into a glass. Step two: open a bag of Skittles and dump them into said glass. Step three: angrily shake fists in the air as you realize you just ruined your beer.

Since the skittles broke down after reacting with the beer, I was left with many random flavors all mixed together, as well as a bunch of white skittles sitting at the bottom of my glass. After some apprehension, I decided to press on and attempt to drink the nasty potion. It ended up tasting much more like Dimetapp than beer, which was very off-putting. Perhaps it was the mixture of every kind of Skittle with Pabst Blue Ribbon (only the classy stuff for me!), either way; I would suggest sticking with fruits in your endeavor. If you don’t believe this actually exists, follow the link here for step by step directions: http://www.skittlebrau.net

The most obvious beer styles that work well with the addition of fruits are Weizenbier, or wheat beer to those without a strong Germanic pedigree, and it’s cloudy, unfiltered cousin, Hefeweizen. Also it’s a good idea to stick with citrus fruits such as oranges, lemons, and limes if you are choosing to go this route. I’m not convinced that a big chunk of star fruit will add a very good flavor to the mix, but what do I know?

There are countless craft brewed hefeweizens available for you to try, including: Brooklyner Weisse from the Brooklyn Brewery (5%ABV), Saranac Hefeweizen from the Matt Brewing Company (5.6%ABV), Heavy Weizen from the Southern Tier Brewing Company (a lofty 8%ABV), Circus Boy (5%ABV) from the Magic Hat Brewing Company, and the most famous of all, Widmer Hefeweizen (4.7%ABV) from the Widmer Brothers Brewing Company of Portland, Oregon.

One of the favorites is Heinnieweisse Hefeweizen from Butternuts Beer and Ale in Garrattsville, New York. Not only is this brew a very good example of the American hefeweizen style due to its thick, foamy, head and yeasty, clove, and banana aroma and taste, but it comes in a can! Where else can buy a craft brew that comes in a can? Butternuts Beer and Ale is a very quirky and innovative brewery to say the least (they even have a beer called Porkslap). To find out more information and to see what else that have in cans, visit http://www.butternutsbeerandale.com.

But, of all the craft brewed hefeweizens readily available in the U.S., I enjoy UFO (Un-filtered Offering. 5.1%ABV), from the Harpoon Brewery of Boston, the most. On a hot, sunny, day in late spring, I love to sit on my front porch with a pint or two of this yeasty, unfiltered offering and just watch the world around me go by. The aroma already contains hints of lemon and wheat, so the addition of a citrus fruit only enhances the overall experience. It also comes in Raspberry hefeweizen, but that’s a little too sweet for my palate. I’ll just stick with the regular hefeweizen, and yes if you must know, I do add a slice of lemon to mine.

"Osburn on Tap" appears monthly in THE FATHER LIFE. For questions, comments, or if you have a story idea for Chris, visit his website http://www.chrisosburnwrites.com.


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Osburn On Tap: The Great Debate Rages On By: Chris Osburn May 26, 2008 Should you feel bad for adding extra ingredients to your beer to enhance the flavor? In the case of Corona, I’m fairly sure it’s mandatory. There really is no point in drinking a Corona if you forgot to purchase limes. I guarantee if you took a Pabst Blue Ribbon and added a lime to it; it would taste exactly like a Corona. But what about other brews? Should you feel any regret for adding another flavor or two into the mix? Beer connoisseurs, as well as most writers, will undoubtedly give you a very firm, “No.” They will bring up the fact that someone worked very hard to create the perfect recipe for their beer. They strove for months to make sure they had the right amount of hops. They not only poured various extracts into their brew to make it just right, they poured their heart and soul into it as well. Who are you to change their masterpiece? You wouldn’t walk into the Louvre and draw a Fu Manchu mustache and a monocle on the Mona Lisa, would you? Well, if you just spent ten bucks to buy a six pack of a craft beer, you have every right in the world to do whatever you want with it. Feel free to freeze it and turn it into beer popsicles, it won’t bother me. As for adding ingredients like fruit and ice cream to beer, as George W. Bush would say, “If it feels good, do it.” Nobody else should be allowed to tell you what you like. If you like a scoop of vanilla ice cream in your Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout, who’s to tell you you’re wrong? If adding a slice of orange to your Blue Moon makes you enjoy it more, go ahead and do it. There’s no official law against it, just a bunch of old guys who don’t like things messed around with. They strongly believe that the flavor and consistency of the yeast is changed by the acidity of a citrus fruit. If you screw around with it too much, you may end up with no head whatsoever. But don’t let anyone tell you that you are destroying centuries of German culture by adding a lemon. In southern Germany they have a drink called a Radler. This strange beverage is a mixture of hefeweizen and lemonade. Give that one a whirl if you are feeling really adventurous. Right or wrong, it’s your beer, you bought it. If you try it and decide you enjoy it, don’t feel bad--there are a lot of people who agree with you. The same goes for those who try it and end up hating it; you’ve got just as many people in your corner. Add whatever you want to your beer, go crazy. Just not too crazy; some things should be left in your fridge or pantry. Take for example “SkittleBrau,” created by the beloved beer pioneer, Homer J. Simpson, on the television show The Simpsons. This concoction tastes even worse than it sounds. I attempted to make “SkittleBrau” back in college with very negative results. It’s not a very complicated process, so bear with me. Step one: open a beer and pour it into a glass. Step two: open a bag of Skittles and dump them into said glass. Step three: angrily shake fists in the air as you realize you just ruined your beer. Since the skittles broke down after reacting with the beer, I was left with many random flavors all mixed together, as well as a bunch of white skittles sitting at the bottom of my glass. After some apprehension, I decided to press on and attempt to drink the nasty potion. It ended up tasting much more like Dimetapp than beer, which was very off-putting. Perhaps it was the mixture of every kind of Skittle with Pabst Blue Ribbon (only the classy stuff for me!), either way; I would suggest sticking with fruits in your endeavor. If you don’t believe this actually exists, follow the link here for step by step directions: http://www.skittlebrau.net The most obvious beer styles that work well with the addition of fruits are Weizenbier, or wheat beer to those without a strong Germanic pedigree, and it’s cloudy, unfiltered cousin, Hefeweizen. Also it’s a good idea to stick with citrus fruits such as oranges, lemons, and limes if you are choosing to go this route. I’m not convinced that a big chunk of star fruit will add a very good flavor to the mix, but what do I know? There are countless craft brewed hefeweizens available for you to try, including: Brooklyner Weisse from the Brooklyn Brewery (5%ABV), Saranac Hefeweizen from the Matt Brewing Company (5.6%ABV), Heavy Weizen from the Southern Tier Brewing Company (a lofty 8%ABV), Circus Boy (5%ABV) from the Magic Hat Brewing Company, and the most famous of all, Widmer Hefeweizen (4.7%ABV) from the Widmer Brothers Brewing Company of Portland, Oregon. One of the favorites is Heinnieweisse Hefeweizen from Butternuts Beer and Ale in Garrattsville, New York. Not only is this brew a very good example of the American hefeweizen style due to its thick, foamy, head and yeasty, clove, and banana aroma and taste, but it comes in a can! Where else can buy a craft brew that comes in a can? Butternuts Beer and Ale is a very quirky and innovative brewery to say the least (they even have a beer called Porkslap). To find out more information and to see what else that have in cans, visit http://www.butternutsbeerandale.com. But, of all the craft brewed hefeweizens readily available in the U.S., I enjoy UFO (Un-filtered Offering. 5.1%ABV), from the Harpoon Brewery of Boston, the most. On a hot, sunny, day in late spring, I love to sit on my front porch with a pint or two of this yeasty, unfiltered offering and just watch the world around me go by. The aroma already contains hints of lemon and wheat, so the addition of a citrus fruit only enhances the overall experience. It also comes in Raspberry hefeweizen, but that’s a little too sweet for my palate. I’ll just stick with the regular hefeweizen, and yes if you must know, I do add a slice of lemon to mine. "Osburn on Tap" appears monthly in THE FATHER LIFE. For questions, comments, or if you have a story idea for Chris, visit his website http://www.chrisosburnwrites.com.